I’m still so green (around the gills?)

I am spinning. I think if I weren’t, I would nauseate myself. Husky Rescue keeps playing in my head, just this one part of a New Light of Tomorrow remix, but it might be the dehumidifier. I keep getting these twinges that turn into attacks of self-loathing and cynicism. I know it’s too early, but I can see the future. It’s a loop of the past week if I decide to stick this out. Do I really want misanthropy in doses even greater? Should I coyly play pretend I’m not offended by each traitor?

But then… why the hell am I offended? They’re just vengeful for my absence. They’re the ones that I abandoned when I couldn’t care less what happened. They don’t like the girl I am because I made her far from them. Their disdain is bittersweet but it’s not me who has to eat it.

I’ve no hatred left to spare; I spent it all on rites of passage. While they root for my despair, I must recall: they are the masses.

And the rest who break my heart, I will assume they have their reasons. I respect them all so much that it’s myself I’ll charge with treason.

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